It took me a long time to write this post, mainly because it was so hard for me to pen down how I was feeling and why. The past few months I just haven’t felt myself and I’m sharing this because I know there are a lot of you out there that have gone through or are going through the same thing. A feeling of unease, constant worry and stress about the future, lack of self-confidence, and a general unhappiness, everything leading to self-doubt.
Now when I’m writing this, I believe I have found my way of how I deal with self doubts, how I manage not cribbing about the things that have been disturbing me and sort them within myself. I have literally worked my way out and now that I’m sure about this, I have some tips for you all if you’re finding yourself in a similar predicament.
IDENTIFY THE SOURCE
This was the hardest part for me.This is the point where I literally have to sit and think for hours to find the trigger point where my feelings of self doubt started coming from. Once you find your trigger point, you can start working on them either by discussing it with someone you trust or within yourself (which I do). I prefer reading articles on Medium or Quora or see motivational videos on YouTube. Trust me,this helps to calm my mind alot and think in absolute logical direction.
Trust me when I say social media is one fucked up place, be it Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or any damn thing.You got to learn people show best version of themselves. I’ve found myself doing this over and over again the past few months and it’s so bad. I am usually not one to do this type of thing and it’s a terrible habit to get into. I’d like to blame it on the nature of my work and business but I think we all do this at one point or another.
And then I remembered what I usually tell friends when they come to me with the same thoughts and feelings. You have no idea what’s on the other side of that image. You don’t know what that person is going through, how they got that collaboration, or that vacation, all those followers, and it DOES NOT matter. The number of likes on a photo does not define anyone’s self worth. When you stop comparing and start recognizing all the incredible opportunities, achievements, and good things in your own life it will open doors you never imagined.Talking of comparing, most importantly, Stop comparing your relationships, stop taking those #couplegoals inspiration so seriously.
I have seen couples constantly on their phones even on their best lunch/dinner dates hardly exchanging a word, nothing to talk about, no similar interests, talking for hardly 5 minutes in a day and yet giving #couplegoals on Instagram with just 2-3 happy pictures, #momentsoflifetime pictures. It’s a TRAP. Be Careful.
LIVE IN PRESENT
I got into this terrible habit of being on my phone all the time.I know I’m not the only one. The best way that helps me get rid of those feeling of self doubts is when I surround myself with people, watch something nice which could be a movie,or web series or listen to music, cook or literally do ANYTHING but phone. Start living the moments, leave your phone at a side for sometime, this way you will get time to do everything I said above – Acknowledge the trigger point, you won’t compare yourself to anyone when you are living the moment & most importantly you will gather all the positivitiy when you start living the moments.
TAKE A BREAK
Everyone needs time off. It is so important to just have fun, and not think about work at times. This not only makes you relax but brings back all the positive energy that you loose while working 24*7. Recently I went on a vacation after almost 1 and a half year. I’m a person who used to go to vacation every 3 months. Not really a fancy one, but any place that makes me relax, a place where I can spent some ME time, get a break from this monotonous life, think & do something different. This is all about getting inspiration and getting back to work with a bang! You don’t have to go far. Take a day trip, visit a museum, go somewhere new to clear your mind and get inspired.That’s all!
CONNECT WITH THOSE WHO LIFT YOU UP
I’m totally an ambivert. I’m pretty good at pretending but I prefer being alone or in a very small group.I love loud music and dance, at the same time I’m re-energized by spending time solo. That said, there’s nothing like being with people who make you laugh and remind you of what’s important. Keep those people close and don’t worry about the rest. Surround yourself with people who understands you, your mood swings, the reason behind your unsaid words and still pushes you towards your best.
REMEMBER SUCCESS IS NOT IMMEDIATE
Always remember this point. You might work for hours & days resulting in 0 results but that’s Okay! Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. Achieving goals takes time. Might take years but 5 years down the line everything everything will be worth. Don’t dismiss your accomplishments either. I have this thing where I downplay every single achievement. You can be humble and proud of your success at the same time. Enjoy the smallest win, work hard, hustle and be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day.